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“My Soul is [Calm and Quiet] Like a Weaned Child…”

Renette Vermeulen






Please note 

 I have no qualms with the study of human behavior from a truly logic perspective to understand the actions of people.  The study of human behavior, as also found in psychology but not so much in psychiatry, is the crux of this article; confirmed and guided by the never-changing, Scriptural Word of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Nevertheless, as many psychologists also use psychiatry in their “talk therapy,” one must be careful to “test and prove everything to see if it is from God,” (1 Ths. 5:21-22.)  Additionally, where the word “victim” is used, it does not mean a “victim mentality that merely seeks sympathy” or anything similar.  It factually refers to the true “injured parties,” “fatalities,” or “casualties” of barnyard bullies, narcissists, psychopaths, and other sadists. 



Everyone who raised a baby would know how, when it is time to wean the child from mother’s milk or the bottle, that child will fight, plead, kick, and scream. The child fights for that milk because he believes it is his life; everything revolves around it. Then, (if the mother persistently denies the child, presenting him with solid food,) one day, the child is suddenly weaned; calm and quiet. This is exactly the fight believers have with themselves - and with those who influence their lives while refusing to repent from the lusts and greed of this world, (Romans Chapter 8.)

A guy said the other day that his whole life is based on love, and when he falls in love it must be unconditionally from both sides; without expecting or demanding anything from the other person. This is a sad lack of knowledge concerning the Scriptural love of God.  Such perverted ‘love’ might be nice if people care nothing about a sincere commitment to God, themselves, and others, because in this way they shirk all personal responsibility and never obey God or anyone else.  They never submit to God’s marriage covenant and they never love their spouses the way God commanded in His Word, (Eph. 5:21-33.)  Sadly, this is satanic self-love not Godly love, which is a self-sanctioned license to lead a life of promiscuity and other immorality.  Such ungodly, so-called ‘love’ can only ‘function’ in the lives of people who choose to do as they please in violation of God’s Moral Law of love in deed and truth, (agape.) 

· God’s commandment to “love” is summarized as follows in the context of Scripture, “Love [or obey] the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and [respect, treat, and take care of] your neighbor as yourself,”  (Jn. 13:34.)  Our “neighbors” are those who are ‘next’ or close to us at any given time; no matter who they are. 

So, God’s love in and through Jesus Christ is never unconditional or without boundaries; so how can human love be unconditional or without boundaries? Jesus declared in John 14:6, “I am the Truth, Light, and Way, and no one comes to the Father except through Me.”  Our human relationships must always mirror God’s holy, practical love, or agape, (Jam. 2:14-22; 2 Cor. 6:14; Eph 5:11, Kjv.) 

· True love is not based on feeling but on obedience to God and respect for one another.  The Man Jesus Christ did not ‘feel’ like going to the cross; He decidedly laid down His life to obey the will of God, (Heb. 5:8.)  We cannot say that we love God, our fellow man, or ourselves if we do not deal with our sin as quickly as possible. Jesus commanded in Matthew 5:22-26, “...If you bring your gift [of prayer, praise, or worship] to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, [not our own sin that we must immediately deal with, but his sin,] leave your gift there before the altar and… first be reconciled to him, [as far as it is up to you,] and then come and offer your gift,” (Rom. 12:18.) 

For this reason, Jesus gave us clear Scriptural directives to resolve all our own sin as well as abuse against us as far, and as quickly as possible, (1 Jn. 1:8-10; Mt. 18:15-20, KJV.)  It is not always possible to resolve conflict as the sinner often refuse to repent.  However, our own disobedience to the precepts of Jesus’ Moral Law as commanded in Matthew 5:22-26, also bring both the sinner and the victim in bondage.  James 5:16-18 commanded, “Confess your [personal] sin [against one another] to one another, that you may be healed.  The effective [or obedient] prayer of a righteous man [who follows Jesus through His Moral Law] avails much.”  So, accepting all kinds of bad behavior and other types of sin against us, opens us up to unrestricted abuse.  That is why Jesus commanded us to treat others as we want them to treat us, (Mt. 7:12.) 

There is only One Way, Door, Truth, Life, Blessor, Savior, Redeemer… and His Name is Jesus.  No one comes to God except through Him and His full atonement in the place of all sincerely believing humanity, (Jn. 3:16.)  Also, no one stays in Him without obedience to His Moral Law of Love - by His grace and in His power, of course.  1 John 2:4 states, “He who says ‘I know Him’ and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But whoever keeps His Word, truly the love of God is perfected in him.  By this we know that we are in Him.”  Thus, our love (agape) for God is shown by our obedience to His Moral Law of Love.  Likewise, our love (agape) for others and ourselves is shown by our obedience to His Moral Law of Love.  And their love in deed and truth (agape) for us is shown by their obedience to God’s Moral Law, which is His “love.” 


Therefore, if we think we can change “love” to mean a mere feeling without a sincere commitment to God and His Moral Law, we are deeply deceiving ourselves. No relationship, marriage especially, can exist in sin and non-commitment.  Commitment to God, His Gospel of Truth, others,  and ourselves is what keeps us human.  We will either love God’s Way or fall into senseless fornication, rebellion, infidelity, murder, etcetera.

· We must not deceive ourselves; we are our own, worst enemies, (Jam. 1:14.)  The devil is always somehow planning our fall and he works on our natural needs as well as our sinful lusts and greed.  And yes, to bring us down, he also uses other people, especially our loved ones whom we trust and on whom we rely. Strangers can never destroy us on the levels where only our loved ones can reach.  Jesus fully redeemed us from the devil at the cross, but the call of carnality is so strong that most believers never grow in truth and obedience to Him; living sinful double lives deceiving themselves as well as those whom they are supposed to agape like Jesus commanded them to do, (Eph. 1:7; Jam. 1:8; 2:14-22.)

The deception and oppression of politicians, clergy, our loved ones, and other people are mighty weapons in the hands of the devil. God is into totality: He wants our whole spirit, soul, body and life, devotion, trust… not just a portion of us. He is patient as we willingly allow the Holy Spirit to teach us and lead us in obedience to Him, but He will not tolerate our Moral disobedience indefinitely.  Paul wrote in 2 Cor. 6:1-18, “We… plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain.  For He says, ‘In the acceptable time I have heard you.  And in the day of salvation I have helped you...’ Behold, NOW is the accepted time; NOW is the day of salvation. (Verses 12-18,) ...But you are restricted by your own affections…  Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.  For what fellowship… has Christ with Belial...?  And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?  For you are the temple of the Living God… ‘Come out from among them and be separate,’ says the Lord.  ‘Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you…’”  

· As long as sin is kept alive by our non-commitment to the truth of God and disobedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit, we will kick, scream, yearn, and beg for that particular lust, or that particular evil person whom we love too much to obey Jesus’ commandment to deal with remorseless people according to the Truth of the Word and the situation, (Mt. 18:15-20; Eph. 5:11; 2 Cor. 6:1-18.) 

The sad fact is, if people and spouses especially, do not commit and submit to God and each other in everything good and holy, the relationship is doomed to tragedy and failure.  And if we never see the truth about ourselves and the unrepentant people we are addicted to, (the ones we love so much that we continually submit to their abuse and fall into sin,) we will never be weaned from sin and sick relationships, (Luke 17:1-3; Mt. 18:15-20.) Again I emphasise the fact that God did not call us to save or change people, but to pray, support as the Spirit leads, and preach the Gospel and the rest of His Word where applicable.  God does not save of change people without their acceptance of, and submission to Him!  (Jn. 1:12-13.)  We are very arrogant to think we can do what Jesus Himself will not do because He does not violate our firm decisions? (Deut. 30:19!) 


There is only one way to be weaned from sin that is caused through a lack of understanding and commitment.  We must see that sin, bad person, unsolvable situation, and ourselves exactly for what they (and we) really are.  That “good” love-bomber is not the real person; the nasty, unrepentant cheater and violent oppressor is the real person.  And if the two, (the bad pretending to be good,) cannot be separated from each other, we must decidedly shun the person, (2 Tim. 3:1-9.)  Jesus instructed us in Revelation 3:11, “Behold, I Am coming quickly.  Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown [or eternal life.]” He also promised, “If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples. And [then] you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free,” (Jn. 8:32.)  Ignoring the truth about people and the situations they create — or which we create for them through a lack of knowledge, will be disastrous for the spiritual, emotional, and physical health of everyone involved. 

· It is not uncommon that abused people defend their tormentors by pretending that they have “good hearts.”  This is actually enabling the abuse.  In denial, the abused focus more on the good side of their abusers and do not take much notice of how the clandestine hatred of abusers systematically annihilate their lives.  Therefore, they do not realize to what extent unrepentant abusers betray, deceive, and murder them psychologically and even physically by destroying their health, etcetera, (1 Jn. 3:15.)  Psychologists call this type of ‘denial as a means of survival’ “treason and trauma bonding,” and “Stockholm syndrome.”  This means, victims are so overpowered by abusers and their confusing behavior, (constantly alternating between love-bombing and destruction,) that they choose to see only ‘good’ in them, and they will even defend their abusers with their lives. 

· However, all abused people must realize that abuse is not love.  Agape or love in deed and truth is Love.  There is no abuse in Godly Love, because there is no darkness in God.  He Is Light.  He Is Truth.  He Himself Is Love; He does not merely “love.” 


It also frequently happens that severely demented abusers also pretend to be ‘born again’ believersAnd so, they unscrupulously partake in the Lord’s Supper, prayer, praise, and ministry, while they continue to live in lust, deceit, treason, and underhandedness — supposedly confessing their sins to God but lying to their victims about everything, (Jam. 5:16; Mt. 5:21-26.)  Even if the abused, when they cannot stand the false settlements and broken promises any longer, confront them with the facts, abusers might eventually confess some of their gross sins in floods of theatrical tears, violence, and anger, while they still hide behind their ‘good,’ ‘kind,’ ‘honest’ facades.  Unrepentant abusers will always sternly refuse to confess the great evil they committed — while blaming the abused for everything and falsely accusing them of horrible things.

· Unrepentant evil people might “get away” with such emotional and physical murder because the abused usually seek reasons to overlook the way those tyrants treat them.  It is only once God begins to reveal the most terrible facts about their relationships with abusers, that the abused might begin to realize that their parents, spouses, siblings, and friends never truly committed to them.  It takes the grace of God to understand and accept that discarded spouses might have married abusers with all their hearts, while those traitors never once spoke the truth to them about the so-called “love” they supposedly had for them.  Instead, abusers of all types will always force children, spouses, family, and friends to live in a matrix of deception while they continue their double lives without a slighter of remorse or real care. 

It is only when the truth of it all begins to sink in, that the abused can finally stop blaming themselves and other people to stand up to their persecutors.  Of course the pain, humiliation, and rejection were unbearable.  But at least, the abused will not be living in denial and self-deception anymore.  It is only when we pull the smokescreens away to face the realities, that God begins to wean and “restore our souls.” 

The truth of who those abusers really were and what they actually did to systematically destroy their victims, weans the souls of the abused from them personally and from the deadly consequences of their evil fruits.  The wasted years of deception, trauma, and treason have to come to an end.  The greatest realization that weans the abused from their abusers, remains the fact that unrepentant abusers never change, and they, (the victims,) never ‘perish without’ their so-called ‘love’ as they never had their love in the first place.

· So, if we humans must receive total commitment from one another to live in holy love, we certainly cannot expect God to be satisfied with only a portion of us.  That’s why Jesus warned in James 4:4; 1:8, “Adulterers and adulteresses!  Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?...  Let not that [half-hearted, double-minded, sinning] person suppose that [he or she] will receive anything from the Lord: he [or she] actually proved [he or she] is unstable in all his [or her] ways [because of the lack of commitment to God; remaining addicted to sin and self.]”

May God give us all the grace to allow His truth (and the truth of all other things) to wean our souls from self-deception and bondage to our own lusts and our addiction to wicked people, to be calm and quiet in the wonderful presence of our God, Who will always remain totally committed to us. 

There is really no other cure for abuse and the incredible destruction of abusers than to face the Truth, which Jesus said, will set us free. 

Our deliverance and healing are seated in Him as God, Savior, and King, as well as in The Truth about His Word and all other things.  And as we fully submit to God and follow Jesus through the darkness of this world, we will grow in His knowledge and in grace to fulfill the calling He placed on every life that remains dedicated to Him, (2 Pt. 3:18.) 


A prayer for healing and deliverance from abuse

Dealing with abuse and abusers God’s way  

Psychopaths that Deceive and Control us


Dealing with Continuous Sin and Willfully Unrepentant Spouses 



Not Testing the spirit Speaking to us is “Exalting ourselves Above the Knowledge of God” 

Casting Lots to Determine the Will of God for a Particular Situation — is it still valid under the New Covenant? 


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Repent from false doctrine and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior


The Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of God

Should we call Him Jehovah, Yeshua, Jeshua, or Jesus?

Seventh Day Adventist Church

The Unbiblical Hierarchy Of Ruling ‘Elders’

What does God Say about Women in Ministry?


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